firstly, let me just apologize to all for my poor showing in the Bloggerville World Cup 08'. to be honest i just haven't had much stuff happen that feels blogworthy. but today i finally had something that is without-a-doubt worthy of blogging about.
part 1...
i was riding to school across champ drive near the quad and the building in which i work. i wasn't going fast or anything, just riding along as they say. silver saab guy ends up not seeing me as i cross the street and thusly not yielding my right of way. it wasn't a big deal to me though. i made it across without much incident at all, it may have been a little closer than it should've been but was by no means a close call. as i'm riding away from the intersection i hear him lay on his horn. i flip him the bird intending to not ever think about any of it again. he ends up pulling along side of me, rolling down his window and yelling at me.
silver saab guy: "did you just flip me off!?"
ddw: "yeah, i did. i had the right of way and you didn't see me."
silver saab guy: "that doesn't mean you can ride into traffic without looking at 30 miles an hour!"
***i was probably honestly going about 10-12 miles an hour across a gigantic open field of grass clearly as visible (if not more so) than any of the people walking***
ddw: "i saw you. you didn't see me!"
silver saab guy: "well why are you trying to start something by flipping me off!?"
ddw: "i'm not starting anything. You honked at me! it's the same thing."
silver saab guy: "well if you want a fight, why don't you come over here and we'll settle it".
***silver saab guy is stopped in the road still sitting in his car. traffic is starting to back up behind him. by this point I've pulled up to the bike rack and started locking up my bike.***
ddw: "i don't need to fight you. you're the one who honked at me in the first place. are you stupid?"
***I continue locking up my bike. silver saab guy just sits in his car still looking at me.***
ddw: "dude, what's your problem? get over it! keep driving."
silver saab guy: "why don't you come over here and tell me that?"
***i look at the dude, awe-struck by his macho behavior. i search for words and due to lack of any rational behavior on this dude's part the following words come out:***
ddw: "you're a dipshit."
***I shake my head disapprovingly to be especially condescending. I've found that to work well in the past. just then I see a kid about 6-7 years old in the backseat lean forward and look out the window. he looks half scared to death and then I kind of regret saying the word "dipshit". even so, he's gonna learn at some point what his dad is. why not now? silver saab dude slowly rolls away saying something like:***
silver saab guy: "Oh, that's real mature using language like that. Real mature, buddy!"
At that moment I couldn't help but wonder what level of maturity it takes to stop in the middle of the road, hold up traffic, and try to pick a fight with someone 10 years younger and 100 pounds lighter than you. Not to mention he had his kid(s) in the back seat.
part 2...
so, i go into the office and about 20 minutes later i end up going to get lunch with my friend carol. i'd just finished telling her about the whole ordeal. as we're sitting there eating at the italian place i see the dude pull up and walk in the building across the street (behind caffe ibis). i couldn't believe the luck. anyway, we ate and left the restaurant.
i'd like to tell you all that i was able to exhibit enough personal restraint to the position such a situation would afford me.
i'd like to tell you i'm the better person.
i'd like to tell you that i just let the whole thing go.
i'd like to tell you to look closely at the camera-phone photo below...
13 comments:
All of your remarks to this "dipshit" are well and good. But I must admit, my favorite rebuttal was when you asked him quite simply...
"Are you stupid?"
beautiful term and Im sure an even more exquisite execution.
Once again...so proud, so proud.
Is the reason that everyone is going to private blogs ultimately a joke on us because "we are touching your privates"?
Gross.
Is that hair gel on the windshield?
evidently I should've gotten a little closer when I took the photo
So THAT'S why you went private...
Dude, dude, dude, you have my complete support and adoration.
I've had my mini u-lock in my hand, arm cocked, ready to take out cab windows before, but never dared to do it. A friend of mine out here has an extendable police club on his bag, though he says he's never used it. He's a bit of a loose cannon though, so I'm not sure I believe him. One time he got cut off and flipped the dude off and the guy slams on his brakes 30 yards in front of my friend and gets out of his truck to start some shit. My friend, who is no small fry, ghost rides his bike into some bushes and starts running, full sprint, straight at the driver. Apparently the driver turned and ran right back to his car and sped off.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cazier/500156758/sizes/l/in/set-72157600219133399/
If indeed the inference you allude to is correct, then you my friend would have more than just a big penis...you'd have big balls.
looks like you have to copy and paste the whole line (three click on a mac) for that link to work.
p.s. what was your implement? Did you just hit it with your HUGE BALLS?
Whoa, dude. Whoa.
altercation=noisy dispute. good one dude. you let air out of that tire and everything.
Holy crap. I love that he chastens you about using the "s" word when he's trying to pick a fight with a you. I can't believe you were being such a bad example to his son.
Dusty oh Dusty. How I miss seeing your cool and calm smart-ass-ness (obviously not a word). I'm going to second Mandy when I say this was my favorite line:
"i don't need to fight you. you're the one who honked at me in the first place. are you stupid?"
People never cease to amaze me. The fact that you acted so mellow about everything (minus the bird) probably is what pissed him off so bad. My favorite thing to do when people get really pissed at me and start swearing at me when I've essentially done nothing wrong is to calmly ask them to stop using such profane language and let them know how much they are offending me and hurting my heart. Oh boy, that really gets 'em going. You can see the rage build up in their eyes, while you sit back and enjoy it all.
Yeah, and what's with the private blog? Why do we all have to be so damn private these days? You got something to hide from the world? Worried about internet weirdos becoming obsessed with you and trying to find you? Come on man.
you didn't, did you? the windshield?
Dusty. I am in awe for 2 reasons:
1) That you had the guts to smash that guys windshield.
2) That you had the guts to post a picture of it online.
I guess that's why you went private? Well, I support both 1 and 2.
Now that I've gone public with my blog again I figured I should point out that I never actually smashed the windshield of the car in the photo. I just found a photo of a silver SAAB and photoshopped the smashed windshield and UTAH license plate onto the photo. Then to further the effect, I took a photo of my computer screen with my camera phone.
The fact that I went private with my blog at the time of this post was also a ploy to make the whole thing more beleivable.
However, everything in Part 1 is a true account. Part 2 is completely fictional.
you're crazy. now you're probably going to come out of the closet too eh?
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